Posted in writing

Shame ~ 2013-1203

Shame less

A Super Soul Sunday conversation with Brene Brown about her book, Daring Greatly, brought up these thoughts:

  • Unused creativity isn’t benign, it metastasizes. It turns into grief, rage, judgment, sorrow and shame.
  • Adult play equals time spent without purpose.
  • Calm people have things in common including they breathe deeply first to take in the information before reacting.
  • Find something meaningful about what you produce or else your life has no purpose.
  • In the absence of love and belonging, there will always be suffering.
  • Cool is an emotional straight jacket, why wear it.
  • Shame is the intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging.
  • The less you talk about it, the more you  have it.
  • Shame needs 3 things to grow in our lives – secrecy, silence and judgment.
  • If you add communicate and empathy, shame cannot survive.
  • Keep the shadow in front of you so it cannot capture you from behind.
  • Share with people who have earned the right to hear your story; don’t overshare with those who have not earned that right.
    • Who has earned the right to hear it?
    • Who can bear the weight of this story?
  • The difference between shame and guilt are the difference between I am bad (shame) or I did something bad (guilt).
    • We measure shame and guilt by how  they talk to themselves
    • Shame highly correlated to addiction, depression, eating disorders, violence, bullying and aggression.
    • Talk to yourself like you would talk with a loved one; speak your shame to someone to break the silence


    Dr. Sheila Embry is a govie, author, pracademician, sister, aunt, cousin, and friend who loves to read, write, think, and laugh. Many of her blog postings are summaries or excerpts of books that she read and wants to share to encourage others. An author with more than 25 years experience within the legislative and executive branches of the U. S. federal government holding 3 accredited degrees: Doctor of Management in Organizational Leadership, Master of Arts in Human Resources Development, and Baccalaureate of Business Administration, she believes in continuing learning both on and off the job. She has been recognized with multiple professional and writing awards for her peer-reviewed, publications. Click the bibliography page above for a listing of all the publications.

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