Posted in self-improvement, women

Abuse and addictions

From Joyce Meyer’s book, Beauty for Ashes:

Abuse leaves a person emotionally handicapped, unable to maintain healthy, lasting relationship. “I functioned in society. I worked. But the only time I didn’t hate myself was when I was working toward some personal goal which I thought would provide me a sense of self worth.”

Abused people often gather addictions. Alcohol and drugs spending and hoarding money; and anorexia, bulimia, and obesity caused by gluttony are the most common addictions. However, there are other addictions such as

  • feeling addictions including  rage, sadness, fear, excessive excitement, religious righteousness, joy fixation, etc.;
  • thought addictions include  worry, non-stop talking,  lustful thoughts, and an unsettled mind (never at rest, always figuring out what to say, what to do, and how to react);
  • activity  addictions include work, sports, reading, gambling, exercise, television, and excessive pets;
  • and will addictions include controlling and caretaking.

Many people from abusive dysfunctional backgrounds cannot maintain healthy, lasting relationship because either they don’t know how to receive love or they place an unbalanced demand on their partners to give what they cannot give.

We are not always delivered from our distress at the precise moment we ask.

  • Don’t be afraid of  pain. The more you resist it, the more you increase its effect upon you. Don’t fight it. Allow it to accomplish its purpose.  Spending your lifetime trying to avoid pain is more painful than living normally and dealing with each issue as it arises.
  • Shame is normal and healthy. Ask for forgiveness and move on. “Walls or bridges, the choice is yours.”

If you want to get over a problem, stop talking about it. Do what you can and move on.


Dr. Sheila Embry is a govie, author, pracademician, sister, aunt, cousin, and friend who loves to read, write, think, and laugh. Many of her blog postings are summaries or excerpts of books that she read and wants to share to encourage others. An author with more than 25 years experience within the legislative and executive branches of the U. S. federal government holding 3 accredited degrees: Doctor of Management in Organizational Leadership, Master of Arts in Human Resources Development, and Baccalaureate of Business Administration, she believes in continuing learning both on and off the job. She has been recognized with multiple professional and writing awards for her peer-reviewed, publications. Click the bibliography page above for a listing of all the publications.

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