“Take your mind out every now and then and dance on it.” – Mark Twain
From Cowan and Kinder’s book, Smart Women, Foolish Choices:
The smart woman is career oriented and actively involved in her personal development. She strives for a strong identity as a woman and a person. She has assumed responsibility for the direction of her life. She is confident and values her self-esteem. The smart woman doesn’t wait for good fortune, she creates it. The more intelligent and sophisticated the woman, the more self-defeating and foolish her choices and her patterns of behavior with romantic partners.
The smart woman knows she is responsible for her experience in this world. She refuses to be a victim. She works hard at getting what she wants and needs. She is strong and expects men to be able to deal with that strength. She has learned to communicate her needs early in the relationship, and if she sees the match as not fulfilling, she moves on. The smart woman likes herself and feels comfortable with herself. She moves toward experience. It isn’t that she doesn’t have concerns, insecurities, or anxiesties, she simply decides not to let them dominate her.
Cute is vulnerability made charming. Cute wins a smile, a quick hug, approval. Cute gets its way. Girls loved being able to make their fathers melt, and they learned to push all the right buttons. As time went on, these girls learned to act this way whenever a man was present. Women know intellectually that they can’t be rescued and sheltered from life’s risks and insecurities. But this seductive fantasy is nonetheless surprisingly prevalent. Today’s women want it both ways – to be taken care of and to be treated like a woman.
Men are dependent on women. They are drawn to intimate attachments. Men want nurturance, warmth, and sensitivity in a woman. When these factors aren’t there, they perceive a woman to be self-absorbed or desperate. Men like a woman to be independent and strong, but also soft and compassionate. Women need wit, warmth and a sense of humor for men to be comfortable with them. It is interesting that when women are asked to describe what attracted them to men, they often talk about excitement or electricity. But when they are asked what is important in a relationship, they always remember the most tender and intimate moments.
Reminders for smart women:
Go out with every guy at least twice before moving on.
- A lack of interest on your part can be a turn on.
- Men like home cooking.
- Only call once and leave one message; no more.
- Don’t act jealous, even if you are.
- If he doesn’t want to live up to your standards, move on.
- Men respond to true friendship with loyalty and gratitude.