Posted in self-improvement

Apply boundaries for greater freedom

From the book, Changes that heal:

  1. Grace is a goddess of compassion and relationship; truth without grace is hurtful and deadly.

2. .  Injuries to the trust muscles create defense mechanisms such as

  • denial (denying need for other people)
  • devaluation (devaluing love being offered instead of responding to it)
  • projection (projecting your needs onto other people instead of admitting you have needs and seeking resolution healthy)
  • reaction (are you doing the exact opposite of what you want to do)
  • mania (busyness or workaholism)
  • idealization (searching for an ideal partner who fulfills all your needs)
  • substitution (something else (food, drugs) is taking place of a relationship with you

3. Your boundaries

  • your body
  • your attitude
  • your feelings
  • your behavior – take responsibility for what you do
  • your thoughts
  • your abilities
  • your desires
  • your choices
  • your limits
  • your freedom
  • your responsibility

 “Crossed boundaries is owning what is not yours and not owning what is yours.”

      4. Setting boundaries allows you to

  • gain awareness (of you)
  • define who you are
  • define who you are not
  • develop your “no” muscle
  • stop blaming others
  • stop playing the victim
  • persevere
  • become active (not reactive)
  • set limits
  • choose values
  • practice self control
  • accept others
  • realize your separateness
  • be honest
  • challenge distorted thinking


Dr. Sheila Embry is a govie, author, pracademician, sister, aunt, cousin, and friend who loves to read, write, think, and laugh. Many of her blog postings are summaries or excerpts of books that she read and wants to share to encourage others. An author with more than 25 years experience within the legislative and executive branches of the U. S. federal government holding 3 accredited degrees: Doctor of Management in Organizational Leadership, Master of Arts in Human Resources Development, and Baccalaureate of Business Administration, she believes in continuing learning both on and off the job. She has been recognized with multiple professional and writing awards for her peer-reviewed, publications. Click the bibliography page above for a listing of all the publications.

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