Posted in self-improvement

10 boundary tips

From Drs. Cloud and Townsend book, Boundaries:

  1. The owner of the property is legally responsible for what happens on her property. Boundaries help up to define what is not our property and what we are not responsible for. We are not responsible for other people;
  2. Define and take responsibility for yourself by knowing what you think, feel, plan, allow, will not allow, like, dislike, who you are, and who you are not. You can create good protective fences with your words.
  3. Sometimes physically removing yourself from a situation will help maintain boundaries. You can do this to replenish yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually after you have given to your limit.
  4. Feelings should neither be ignored nor put in charge. They come from your heart to share your state of being. Feelings are your responsibility. You must own them and see them as your problem so you can begin to find an answer to whatsoever issue they are pointing.
  5. Remember to set your own internal limits. You need to have a space inside yourself where you can have a feeling or impulse or desire without acting it out. You need self-control without repression.
  6. Own your own thoughts.
  7. Boundaries are inherited, they are built.
  8. Our needs are our responsibility.
  9. Don’t sugarcoat your boundaries. They are a litmus test for the quality of your life.
  10. To see what boundary work is needed, as yourself, “where have I lost my property?”


Dr. Sheila Embry is a govie, author, pracademician, sister, aunt, cousin, and friend who loves to read, write, think, and laugh. Many of her blog postings are summaries or excerpts of books that she read and wants to share to encourage others. An author with more than 25 years experience within the legislative and executive branches of the U. S. federal government holding 3 accredited degrees: Doctor of Management in Organizational Leadership, Master of Arts in Human Resources Development, and Baccalaureate of Business Administration, she believes in continuing learning both on and off the job. She has been recognized with multiple professional and writing awards for her peer-reviewed, publications. Click the bibliography page above for a listing of all the publications.

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