Posted in self-improvement

Defending Your Heart through Projection


Projection – Attributing our own unacceptable, shocking, or embarrassing thoughts, feelings, or impulses to someone else in order to relieve our feelings about them.

 We are the movie projector of our own lives and the people around us are the screens for our projections. We often accuse others of the very thing we’ve done or thought. So, the more insight we have into ourselves, the less weight our projections bear on us. Try this exercise:

In our minds, point our finger at a partner, friend, sibling, or colleague and answer the following questions:

  1. What faults about this person bugs us the most?
  2. How does he or she demonstrate these short-comings?
  3. How does that make us feel?
  4. Do any of these faults resonate with us?

 One of the most helpful ways to develop greater insight into ourselves is to become aware of how we think about others. Try out this exercise:

  1. What repetitive negative thoughts and feelings about others keep coming up in our lives?
  2. Have we heard the same things said about us before?
  3. Do you think any of the negative statements could have more to do with the person who said them than with us?
  4. If we haven’t heard these things from others, where did they come from?

Reading through what we’ve written, we should begin to see themes – what we project on others time and time again. The second step is to improve our compassion towards ourselves. When we live without insight and are out of touch with how we feel, it’s easier to take our resentment out on others. Developing compassion within ourselves allows us to keep resentment for others at bay. So, stay aware; listen to yourself; catch your negative self-talk and replace it with more upbeat, optimistic constructive and affirmative talk.

Cite: Kagan, M. and Einbund, N. Defenders of the Heart. (2008). Carlsbad, Ca. Hay House, Inc.




Dr. Sheila Embry is a govie, author, pracademician, sister, aunt, cousin, and friend who loves to read, write, think, and laugh. Many of her blog postings are summaries or excerpts of books that she read and wants to share to encourage others. An author with more than 25 years experience within the legislative and executive branches of the U. S. federal government holding 3 accredited degrees: Doctor of Management in Organizational Leadership, Master of Arts in Human Resources Development, and Baccalaureate of Business Administration, she believes in continuing learning both on and off the job. She has been recognized with multiple professional and writing awards for her peer-reviewed, publications. Click the bibliography page above for a listing of all the publications.

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