Whatever is broken in your body began with brokenness in your heart. The chances are very good that the history of your relationship with your body is complicated. Whether your personal history is sudden trauma such as rape or molestation or gradual trauma such as toxic events during puberty, your task is to understand it so you can heal it.
Disassociation is a sense of being apart from your body; a tragic split from self. Often, during traumatic events, we disassociate from our body, because we could not stand the pain or the event that was occurring. Overeaters know that eating creates a chemical reaction of numbness that allows you to escape from pain for a short while. Disassociation from the body for whatever reason, ruins not only the joy of healthy eating, but of even identifying with your own identity.
My body is not good enough.
Conscious: My body is ugly because it is not like those in the magazines.
Subconscious: My body deserves to be punished.
My body makes grown-ups squirm so there must be something wrong with me.
Conscious: Grown-ups act strangely around me now that my body has changed.
Subconscious: My body must be bad.
Sex equals love.
Conscious: Sex is fun.
Subconscious: If I do this enough, I’ll be loved.
Exercise: Write your personal story where things went right and things went wrong. Write your history so you can begin to understand it.
Source: Williamson, Marianne. A course in weight-loss: 21 spiritual lessons for surrendering your weight forever.