Emotional intelligence is related to being successful, not only in our outer personal life of careers and chores but also in the inner world of spirituality. Yet, most of us mishandle our emotions in two basic ways: we avoid our emotions, and we get stuck in our feelings.
Keeping a stiff upper lip is considered admirable. While emotional control is important and a sign of maturity, we too often do not allow any emotions because we are embarrassed by them and see them as shameful. People who have their feelings under tight control may have a hard time getting up in the morning and may feel sluggish during the day because it takes enormous energy for the personality to keep the emotions from coming up to consciousness. Emotions areoften difficult, painful, or inconvenient to feel. Denying them is easier, but not healthier. Emotions that are ignored don’t just go away; they bubble beneath the surface and may boil over in ways that horrify even the person herself.
As well, people can get stuck in old emotions and in newly discovered emotions. Getting stuck in emotion acts as a logjam, slowing or limiting the free flow of other emotions. For example you can be so fearful for loss that you cannot express your genuine caring. Emotional complexities can create confusion and extra weight and emotional burdens.
Cite: Losing the Weight of the World: A Spiritual Diet to Nourish the Soul by Jonathan Kramer, and Diane Dunaway Kramer