Posted in writing

  Over/under parenting


Most narcissist mothers either severely over-parent or under-parent. Self-image of the daughters of these mothers becomes distorted. Feelings of insecurity are difficult to shake. Their mothers sent messages about the type of daughters they wanted instead of validating who they were. Being raised by an ignoring mother, daughters felt invisible. As a result they felt discounted and dismissed. Emotional and physical neglect sends daughters the message that they don’t matter. Daughters with these unemotional needs kept going back to their mothers hoping to gain love and respect.

The behavior patterns of abusive, ignoring, or neglecting mothers are generally identifiable, but grow more complex and confusing when the mother expresses a mix of engulfing and ignoring behaviors.

Healthy daughters will separate and move on into adulthood. If the daughters are lucky enough, they may find another adult who can help her recognize and value their feelings.


CITE: Will I Ever Be Good Enough by Karyn McBride, Ph.D.




Dr. Sheila Embry is a govie, author, pracademician, sister, aunt, cousin, and friend who loves to read, write, think, and laugh. Many of her blog postings are summaries or excerpts of books that she read and wants to share to encourage others. An author with more than 25 years experience within the legislative and executive branches of the U. S. federal government holding 3 accredited degrees: Doctor of Management in Organizational Leadership, Master of Arts in Human Resources Development, and Baccalaureate of Business Administration, she believes in continuing learning both on and off the job. She has been recognized with multiple professional and writing awards for her peer-reviewed, publications. Click the bibliography page above for a listing of all the publications.

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