Most narcissist mothers either severely over-parent or under-parent. Self-image of the daughters of these mothers becomes distorted. Feelings of insecurity are difficult to shake. Their mothers sent messages about the type of daughters they wanted instead of validating who they were. Being raised by an ignoring mother, daughters felt invisible. As a result they felt discounted and dismissed. Emotional and physical neglect sends daughters the message that they don’t matter. Daughters with these unemotional needs kept going back to their mothers hoping to gain love and respect.
The behavior patterns of abusive, ignoring, or neglecting mothers are generally identifiable, but grow more complex and confusing when the mother expresses a mix of engulfing and ignoring behaviors.
Healthy daughters will separate and move on into adulthood. If the daughters are lucky enough, they may find another adult who can help her recognize and value their feelings.
CITE: Will I Ever Be Good Enough by Karyn McBride, Ph.D.