Posted in spiritual/religious, women

Daughters as mothers

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If you had an engulfing mother, you may decide that you will absolutely not being a smothering mother so much so that your child may feel ignored on some level. If you had an ignoring mother, you may decide to give your child so much attention that you end up engulfing him or her. Additionally, overpraising can been seen as fake, causing the child to feel that she or he will never measure up no matter how hard they try to gain your genuine approval. If you do not feel good enough in yourself, you’ll mirror that insecurity to the child, and he or she will end up feeling unworthy as well. Parenting isn’t easy. Being a daughter of a narcissistic mother, makes it even harder.

Daughters who did not receive empathy do not know how to give empathy to their children. Empathy is a very important parenting skill. When someone empathizes with a child, the child feels heard and more real. Healthy self-care means finding fulfillment so that you have energy, love, and empathy for others.

How to self-care?

  1. Accept your mother’s limitations and grieve that you did not have the mother you wanted
  2. Separate psychologically from your mother by reframing negative messages that you absorbed into positive one to absorb
  3. Develop and accept your own identity, feelings, and desires
  4. Deal with your mother in a different, more healthy manner
  5. Work to recognize your own narcissistic traits and refuse to pass them along to your children

 

CITE: Will I Ever Be Good Enough by Karyn McBride, Ph.D.

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Author:

Dr. Sheila Embry is a govie, author, pracademician, sister, aunt, cousin, and friend who loves to read, write, think, and laugh. Many of her blog postings are summaries or excerpts of books that she read and wants to share to encourage others. An author with more than 25 years experience within the legislative and executive branches of the U. S. federal government holding 3 accredited degrees: Doctor of Management in Organizational Leadership, Master of Arts in Human Resources Development, and Baccalaureate of Business Administration, she believes in continuing learning both on and off the job. She has been recognized with multiple professional and writing awards for her peer-reviewed, publications. Click the bibliography page above for a listing of all the publications.

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