Posted in Blog, Self Improvement

Coaching My Way to a Softer Life

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I’m a boss, a supervisor, and a servant leader. I’ve been a mentor several times. Now, I’m learning to be a coach. Here’s what I’m learning:

Coaching is confidential, of course, but it is also more passive than mentoring. As a boss, you act like a consultant. You know the best way to get where you want to go, and you work toward getting your team there. As a mentor, you use your experiences to help your mentees obtain their goals. As a coach, your client decides where to go and how to get there.

As a coach you ask your client, what do you want to talk about? What can you do? And you ask for permission to give suggestions to the client. After multiple years being a mentor and a boss, the last one is hard for me to remember.

To be a good coach, you

  • Stand next to your client and watch them as they choose the path they want to take and how to get there. Your clients are the experts of his/her own life.
  • Keep your opinions to yourself. Your client shouldn’t be able to know how you feel or what you believe about whatever you are discussing.
  • Empower your client’s journey which is always powerful.
  • Practice increasing your tolerance for
    • challenges
    • ambiguity
    • others’ anxiety
    • others’ disapproval
    • others’ stress
  • Practice international equilibrium which is a fancy way of saying staying balanced within yourself while being pulled by fear, conflict, and anxiety.

So, why am I am taking coaching? Well, I always want to be learning new things. I always want to be improving. And I think being a good coach will also help me be a better boss. What do you think? Do any of these tips speak to you today?

 

Posted in Blog, Self Improvement, Spiritual/Religious

Here I Am

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Hope: Where do you go to find hope? Can you be hopeful and doubt? Can you be hopeful in times of change? How? Say, here I am. Here I am. I am here. While here, I will hope and will not doubt. Here I am. I am here and will stay despite the change. Here I am. It doesn’t matter what I’m going through, it matters what I’m becoming.

Strength: How strong are you feeling right now? How is your mental toughness? Your inner resolve? Your confidence? Your peace? Adversity happens to everyone. No one escapes it. Everyone gets weary and discouraged. Adversity is not to be avoided. It is to go through. How? Say, here I am. Here I am. When I’m weary and feel I cannot go another step, here I am. When I feel crushed by life, here I am. With all my inner strength, all my toughness, all my confidence, here I am.

Courage:  Courage is the quality of mind and spirit that enables a person to face danger, difficulty, and pain without fear. Courage is the motivation to do what needs to be done, whether it’s overcoming adversity or taking on a challenging task. Success is the outcome of courage. How? Say, here I am. Here I am. In the middle of financial crisis, in medical crisis, in relationship crisis, here I am. I may be troubled, but here I am. Here I am without fear. Here I am despite the pain.

Integrity: Integrity is the inner quality of your heart. Integrity shapes your character. Integrity is having your actions match up with your promises. A breach of integrity in one area of your life soon spills over into other areas of your life. Integrity is wholeness of spirit. Integrity is complete honesty, being honest in all the areas of your life. A person of integrity is an unbroken person. How to become this person? Say, here I am. Here I am. I am here. I am whole. I am honest in all my actions and words. I will not ‘fudge’. I will not give false witness, false impressions, or alternate facts. Here I am.

Perseverance:  Winston Churchill reminded us all in 1941 – Never Give In. Perseverance is enduring to overcome. Perseverance is continuing when you are weary, and when you cannot see the finish line. Perseverance is pushing toward the goal. Perseverance is endurance with confidence. Perseverance is believing what you are looking for to happen will happen. Perseverance is the heart of hope. How? Say, I will not complain or blame. Say, here I am. Here I am. I am here.

Cite: Hope: Comfort and Encouragement by Bruce Bickel and Stan Jantz

 

Posted in Blog, Writing

Sheila Says Blog Publications

sheila-says

Once I finished my doctoral program, I started this blog.  It wasn’t meant to meet any standard or be professional. It was meant to serve as a storage container for my stream of consciousness thoughts and for notes from books I’ve read and enjoyed. It started weekly, then moved to random posts, then moved to postings every other day (2013), then every day but Sundays (2014), then only on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays (2015), and every day (2016). The posts have been self-published through Create Space as annual yearbooks:

  •  Sheila Says 2015: Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays
  •  Sheila Says 2014:  No Blogs on Sunday
  •  Sheila Says 2013: Odd Facts
  •  Sheila Says 2012: Random Thoughts
  •  Sheila Says 2011: A Myriad of Musings
  •  Sheila Says 2010: From Doctor to Author
  •  Sheila Says 2009: From ABD to Success

My thinking about this blog is if I’m thinking about things, others may be as well; or if I’m reading books, others may want to know about them too. This year, I spent a lot of time writing about Hawaii and the South Pacific, my new home. Over the years, I’ve heard from several of you when certain posts resonated. What I’ve discovered is I never know what subject will create emails, facebook comments or blog comments.  However, I’m grateful for each of them.

As I close out another year, I want to say thank you to all who take a moment to read a post, to like it, to comment on it, or to mention it to me when we chat.  Hugs to you all and here’s to a great 2017!

Enjoy this great youtube video of the song from which I took the title: