Tomorrow marks the 100th day of the 100-day challenge. How did you do?
Recently some friends were kind enough to hold a panel discussion at my workplace (via electronic means) for women leaders in our agency. I removed all the agency specifics, but I thought you may enjoy these bits and pieces:
- Be your own advocate.
- Be proactive whenever you can.
- Decisions have to make sense for all.
- Don’t let the culture change you, you change your culture.
- Focus on self-issues first so you have the energy to assist others.
- Supervisors are held to a higher level, act like it.
- Rely on your support systems and relationships.
- Identify who or what is causing the frustration.
- Why is this important to you?
- Take advantage of any work professional development dollars available.
Each one of these snippets can be great conversation starters. Do any of them speak to you?
Question Thinking (QT) is out ability to be in charge of our own thinking, moment by moment. How do I fix it? takes you from being powerless to confident enough to take constructive action.
Three important questions:
- Are you willing to take responsibility for your mistakes and for the attitudes and actions that led to them?
- Are you willing to forgive yourself and laugh at yourself?
- Will you look for value in your experience, especially the most difficult ones?
Question Thinking is a system of skills and tools using questions to expand how you approach virtually any situation.
- Question everything.
- How can you get the best answers without asking the best questions first?
- Questions drive results.
We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. – Albert Einstein
Cite: Change Your Questions, Change Your Life by Marilee Adams
In 1978, I answered the question, what makes me happy with the following:
- Feeling needed and special
- Contributing to planet earth
- Beach time
- Hotels (not motels)
- Great music
- Friends and family
Almost 40 years later, I found this list while going through old papers. Looking at this list again and cannot think of anything else to add to it. What about you? What makes you happy? Has it changed or been added to over the years? Do you have any lists from the past that have stayed constant over the years?
While I believe that people do change and improve continually, I also believe there are core strengths and attributes that are constant within us. What about you? What are your core desires?
You recently passed the 40-day mark of the 100-day journey that I challenged you to on February 5th. Accordingly, you have started a new habit or let go of an old one and have ingrained this change into your system, your plan, your schedule. How are you feeling?
Was it easier than you thought? Was it more difficult than you imagined? Did you have a few bad days? Did you give up? Whether you are struggling through the change or sailing through it, take a moment today to think about the journey. Do you need to keep doing what you are doing? Do you need to make some shifts or changes? Whatever it is, I encourage you to continue this journey through the end. There are 60 days left, you can do it. Let’s go.
I’m a boss, a supervisor, and a servant leader. I’ve been a mentor several times. Now, I’m learning to be a coach. Here’s what I’m learning:
Coaching is confidential, of course, but it is also more passive than mentoring. As a boss, you act like a consultant. You know the best way to get where you want to go, and you work toward getting your team there. As a mentor, you use your experiences to help your mentees obtain their goals. As a coach, your client decides where to go and how to get there.
As a coach you ask your client, what do you want to talk about? What can you do? And you ask for permission to give suggestions to the client. After multiple years being a mentor and a boss, the last one is hard for me to remember.
To be a good coach, you
- Stand next to your client and watch them as they choose the path they want to take and how to get there. Your clients are the experts of his/her own life.
- Keep your opinions to yourself. Your client shouldn’t be able to know how you feel or what you believe about whatever you are discussing.
- Empower your client’s journey which is always powerful.
- Practice increasing your tolerance for
- others’ anxiety
- others’ disapproval
- others’ stress
- Practice international equilibrium which is a fancy way of saying staying balanced within yourself while being pulled by fear, conflict, and anxiety.
So, why am I am taking coaching? Well, I always want to be learning new things. I always want to be improving. And I think being a good coach will also help me be a better boss. What do you think? Do any of these tips speak to you today?
Hope: Where do you go to find hope? Can you be hopeful and doubt? Can you be hopeful in times of change? How? Say, here I am. Here I am. I am here. While here, I will hope and will not doubt. Here I am. I am here and will stay despite the change. Here I am. It doesn’t matter what I’m going through, it matters what I’m becoming.
Strength: How strong are you feeling right now? How is your mental toughness? Your inner resolve? Your confidence? Your peace? Adversity happens to everyone. No one escapes it. Everyone gets weary and discouraged. Adversity is not to be avoided. It is to go through. How? Say, here I am. Here I am. When I’m weary and feel I cannot go another step, here I am. When I feel crushed by life, here I am. With all my inner strength, all my toughness, all my confidence, here I am.
Courage: Courage is the quality of mind and spirit that enables a person to face danger, difficulty, and pain without fear. Courage is the motivation to do what needs to be done, whether it’s overcoming adversity or taking on a challenging task. Success is the outcome of courage. How? Say, here I am. Here I am. In the middle of financial crisis, in medical crisis, in relationship crisis, here I am. I may be troubled, but here I am. Here I am without fear. Here I am despite the pain.
Integrity: Integrity is the inner quality of your heart. Integrity shapes your character. Integrity is having your actions match up with your promises. A breach of integrity in one area of your life soon spills over into other areas of your life. Integrity is wholeness of spirit. Integrity is complete honesty, being honest in all the areas of your life. A person of integrity is an unbroken person. How to become this person? Say, here I am. Here I am. I am here. I am whole. I am honest in all my actions and words. I will not ‘fudge’. I will not give false witness, false impressions, or alternate facts. Here I am.
Perseverance: Winston Churchill reminded us all in 1941 – Never Give In. Perseverance is enduring to overcome. Perseverance is continuing when you are weary, and when you cannot see the finish line. Perseverance is pushing toward the goal. Perseverance is endurance with confidence. Perseverance is believing what you are looking for to happen will happen. Perseverance is the heart of hope. How? Say, I will not complain or blame. Say, here I am. Here I am. I am here.
Cite: Hope: Comfort and Encouragement by Bruce Bickel and Stan Jantz