Posted in self-improvement

Time

Time is life. To waste your time is to waste your life, but to master your time is to master your life and make the most of it. – Alan Lakein

There is no such thing as lack of time. We all have plenty of time to do everything we really want to do. If you believe you are too busy to get things done, keep in mind there are people who are busier than you, who manage to get more done that you do. They don’t have more time that you do. They just use their time to their best advantage. When all is said and done there is nothing more important in your life than time.

Time use is a highly personal, individual matter of choice, you must choose what works for you. Your time is limited but your imagination is not. Most people in a few moments of daydreaming can come up with enough things to do to keep them busy for weeks. There are also the things that you are required to do. Tomorrow there will be things to do. The choices are often complex and difficult.

Some demands by others should be accepted graciously. When something is important to someone you care about, even if it is not important to you, remind yourself that you are living interdependently in the world, which means sharing your time. Situations in which you feel other people are making your decisions are not uncommon. A parent, child, spouse, or friend, may seem to have as much say about how you spend your time as you do – and sometimes more. The fact, however, is otherwise. You make the decision to allow others to tell you how to spend your time. Others can only recommend things for you to do. The decision is yours.

Your time use is the result of hundreds of thousands of big and little choices made each year, month, day, minute. Some ways you make decisions are habits, demands of others, escapism, spur of the moment, default, and conscious decisions. There is no right or wrong ways to make your decisions. The answer is are you satisfied with the payoff of your decisions? If not, then changes should be considered. You can drift, dream or drown – the choice is yours.

Cite: How To Get Control of Your Time and Your Life by Alan Lakein

Posted in leadership, self-improvement, women

Women Wisdom Snippets

Recently some friends were kind enough to hold a panel discussion at my workplace (via electronic means) for women leaders in our agency. I removed all the agency specifics, but I thought you may enjoy these bits and pieces:

  • Be your own advocate.
  • Be proactive whenever you can.
  • Decisions have to make sense for all.
  • Don’t let the culture change you, you change your culture.
  • Focus on self-issues first so you have the energy to assist others.
  • Supervisors are held to a higher level, act like it.
  • Rely on your support systems and relationships.
  • Identify who or what is causing the frustration.
    • Why is this important to you?
  • Take advantage of any work professional development dollars available.

Each one of these snippets can be great conversation starters. Do any of them speak to you?

 

 

Posted in leadership, self-improvement

Question Thinking

Question Thinking (QT) is out ability to be in charge of our own thinking, moment by moment. How do I fix it? takes you from being powerless to confident enough to take constructive action.

Three important questions:

  • Are you willing to take responsibility for your mistakes and for the attitudes and actions that led to them?
  • Are you willing to forgive yourself and laugh at yourself?
  • Will you look for value in your experience, especially the most difficult ones?

Question Thinking is a system of skills and tools using questions to expand how you approach virtually any situation.

  • Question everything.
  • How can you get the best answers without asking the best questions first?
  • Questions drive results.

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. – Albert Einstein

Cite: Change Your Questions, Change Your Life by Marilee Adams

 

Posted in self-improvement, spiritual/religious

What Makes You Happy?

In 1978, I answered the question, what makes me happy with the following:

  • Traveling
  • Innocence
  • Truthfulness
  • Feeling needed and special
  • Contributing to planet earth
  • Learning
  • Beach time
  • Hotels (not motels)
  • Great music
  • Friends and family

 Almost 40 years later, I found this list while going through old papers. Looking at this list again and cannot think of anything else to add to it.  What about you? What makes you happy? Has it changed or been added to over the years? Do you have any lists from the past that have stayed constant over the years?

While I believe that people do change and improve continually, I also believe there are core strengths and attributes that are constant within us. What about you? What are your core desires?

Posted in self-improvement

40 Days into the 100 Days Journey

100-days2

You recently passed the 40-day mark of the 100-day journey that I challenged you to on February 5th.  Accordingly, you have started a new habit or let go of an old one and have ingrained this change into your system, your plan, your schedule. How are you feeling?

Was it easier than you thought? Was it more difficult than you imagined? Did you have a few bad days? Did you give up? Whether you are struggling through the change or sailing through it, take a moment today to think about the journey. Do you need to keep doing what you are doing? Do you need to make some shifts or changes? Whatever it is, I encourage you to continue this journey through the end. There are 60 days left, you can do it. Let’s go.

Posted in self-improvement

Coaching My Way to a Softer Life

soft

I’m a boss, a supervisor, and a servant leader. I’ve been a mentor several times. Now, I’m learning to be a coach. Here’s what I’m learning:

Coaching is confidential, of course, but it is also more passive than mentoring. As a boss, you act like a consultant. You know the best way to get where you want to go, and you work toward getting your team there. As a mentor, you use your experiences to help your mentees obtain their goals. As a coach, your client decides where to go and how to get there.

As a coach you ask your client, what do you want to talk about? What can you do? And you ask for permission to give suggestions to the client. After multiple years being a mentor and a boss, the last one is hard for me to remember.

To be a good coach, you

  • Stand next to your client and watch them as they choose the path they want to take and how to get there. Your clients are the experts of his/her own life.
  • Keep your opinions to yourself. Your client shouldn’t be able to know how you feel or what you believe about whatever you are discussing.
  • Empower your client’s journey which is always powerful.
  • Practice increasing your tolerance for
    • challenges
    • ambiguity
    • others’ anxiety
    • others’ disapproval
    • others’ stress
  • Practice international equilibrium which is a fancy way of saying staying balanced within yourself while being pulled by fear, conflict, and anxiety.

So, why am I am taking coaching? Well, I always want to be learning new things. I always want to be improving. And I think being a good coach will also help me be a better boss. What do you think? Do any of these tips speak to you today?